Week 1, Day 5 – One Small Step

Let’s not talk about how I haven’t gone to the gym for the 5th day in a row… I’d rather not focus on the fact that I’m failing miserably at my New Year’s Resolutions. Instead, let’s highlight the fact that tonight I’ve acknowledged I’m in a cranky mood, I realized I’m headed down the path of bored and emotional eating and I actually went to the store and bought – wait for it – carrots and celery.  And “Lite” dressing, which I know is still bad for you, but I need flavor.  We can all agree it’s better than bags of chips or cookies, or those cute personal sized – I mean, pints – of Hagen Daaz, which I’ve been known to devour on a bad day.  At least I had better control over what went in my mouth today.  And hell, the day’s not over yet… I still might make it to the gym.

Week 1, Day 4 – Within

My fridge is stocked with good food. My alarm is set for the crack of dawn. My clothes are laid out and that treadmill is calling my name.  But we still slip up. I have an amazing support group consisting of my boyfriend and friends and old acquaintances, but what I’ve found is there is still a point where you just have to find it from within.  Hell, my boyfriend is a trainer and is currently a training powerlifter.  He knows how to help me and he’s (mostly) on the same page with me as far as eating habits since he, himself, is training.  He’s even offered to train me and lift with me and keep me on track.  Yet, we still give in to movie nights, or “fatigue” and skip a workout here and there.  No matter how much help is offered to you or how much support you think you have, no matter how much you think that someone else will light a fire under your ass, the real motivation still has to come from within.  Until you find that wealth of motivation and are able to tap into that resoure, you are hindering your success.  I can’t forget who I’m really changing for (which is myself for those not quite following).  A support group is essential for those ruts and hurdles, but it’s being your own support that will get you the furthest.  I have to believe in myself; find the want and the desire to change.

It’s funny because we can all sit around complaining about our weight and then always find something better to do than go to the gym.  We all “want” to be thinner, healthier, “hotter” but never “want” to put the fork down and get on a treadmill. I have to find that deep rooted desire to get healthy and realize that it’s going to be hard but well worth it.  It’s going to be tiresome and some days feel pointless but it does matter.  Every minute in that gym and drop of sweat is a step to success. I know that that want, that desire is in me. I need to find it and bring it to the forefront of my day, everyday.  I can’t rely on others to get me out of bed or make me go the gym after work.  I need to find that motivation within myself.  It’s been almost 25 years and I seem to have always looked to others to “help” me or “fix” me when plenty of people do it everyday for themselves.  I’m just as strong as them.  I’m probably more competitive.  I need to find an angle that works for me.  Maybe make it a game.  See if I start to recognize people from the gym, see if I can stay on the stairmill longer than the people next to me or race the prancing girl on the treadmill.  I need a fire lit under my butt for sure, and I know I’m the one that has to start the fire. I just need to find the matches…

Week 1, Day 3 – Budgeting & Preparation

The “caveman diet” isn’t cheap.  It isn’t necessarily “quick and easy” either.  You have to budget both money and time in order to do it effectively.  Budget some extra time to burn those extra calories, a few more dollars and minutes to “look your best” and make lemonade with the lemons God gave you, and while you’re at it, add some change for the preparation.  The grocery trips, the weighing and cooking of the food, the prepackaging of the food, the menu prep, the laying out of the gym clothes the night before (to be “efficient”, but we all know it’s to make us feel guilty in the morning when we wake up and see the running shoes and spandex staring us in the face).  It’s a lot of work.  No one said it would be easy. But hopefully it will become a habit and – crossing my fingers – seem normal one day.  It won’t be a chore forever, right?

Today I went shopping.  Not for food, but for fuel for my body.  Mixed berries, apples, oatmeal, chicken, buffalo, bananas, brown rice, asparagus, sweet potatoes.  Doesn’t sound too bad, eh? Hopefully, I’ll actually cook this for myself and be prepared for the day. That’s the theme for this year.  Be prepared for every day.  Look my best.  Eat my best. Work my best.  Be my best.  And I can only do that if I am prepared.  I need to mentally prepare myself the night before for that early bird cardio sesh.  I need to prepare my food with enough time to eat it, digest it and use it during my workout.  I should prepare to have a smile on my face that is rooted in confidence every day. I need to mentally prepare myself again for the heavy weights I’ll be lifting after a long day at work, on my feet, when I’m totally not in the mood to hit the gym.  I need to be prepared to tell that girl, “Stop complaining. Suck it up. Go to the gym.  Lift hard. Sweat. Feel good. Go home.  And don’t forget the post-workout protein shake.”

Week 1, Day 2 – Eating Habits

“Fad Dieting” is always a huge chore.  Super restrictive and rarely instilling good habits, you’re left mostly unsatisfied and upset that after finally giving into a craving you realize you’ve gained back all that you lost and probably then some. But a healthy diet – for the true meaning of the word – is needed.  I want to make it as simple as possible.  Boring? Probably. Easy? Definitely.  Again I want to approach the formulation of  my new diet from a positive perspective.  Non-restrictive.  Not focusing on the “can’ts” and “don’ts” but focusing on what I’m allowed to have plenty of.  I’ll start with just training my body to crave better, healthier options.

The “caveman diet” is always good.  Lean proteins, fruits, veggies, minimal macro-carbs; If a caveman can’t hunt it or gather it, I can’t eat it.  For now, portion size won’t be such a huge focus, since I’m first just trying to put the right things in my body.  Again, a positive perspective.  I can have as much as I want! (As long as it’s lean protein, fruits and veggies.) I’ve learned if I restrict myself too much or look at food from the stand point of “I can’t have that, I’m on a diet”, then I will subconciously focus on that food, eventually crave it, and probably give in.  And it’s way too early to start giving in to cravings just yet. I haven’t even earned a cheat meal!

Once I’ve started making healthier choices, I can fine tune these with a laundry list of fine-tuning to think about.  Organic produce, no added salt, portion size, no processed foods, no dairy. And the list goes on.  But I think I have a good starting point.  Instead of “no soda” I’ll be thinking “water and protein shakes”.  Instead of “no candy or ice cream” I’ll try “mixed berries and melon”.  Losing weight is just as much, if not more, a mental game as a physical regimen. Habit forming is from the mind.  Picking up the fork and opening the fridge isn’t muscle memory, it’s a mind-game.  And I plan to win this one.

Week 1, Day 1 – Resolutions

3… 2… 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR! Here’s to starting my “New Year’s Diet” for at least the tenth time.  But 2010 is different.  It is the first year with a new perspective.  I’ve noticed that in the past, I’ve focused on losing weight.  Pretty much nothing else – physically at least.  I always used other things I’ve wanted, such as pedicures, manicures, hair color and what-not, as rewards for losing “x” amount of weight.  When I didn’t hit my goal, not only did I feel like a failure, but on top of that, I deprived myself of other things that could have boosted my confidence.  For example, when I have a “fat day”, instead of brushing it off as simply that, I also noticed I didn’t have my nails done and my roots were growing out. Things that I otherwise could have fixed if I weren’t “saving them for a reward”.  This year my number one resolution isn’t going to just be to “lose weight”. I want to vow to myself to try to look and feel my best every day.  This is extremely vague, I know, but I think it will help my mindset cover all the key points that matter.

Look AND feel my best.  This means I will take the time to put my best foot forward and be more aware of how my actions will affect the way I feel. Too tired for the gym and hankering for a cookie? How will I feel at the end of the day if I continue to give in to these poor choices?  NOT GOOD.  How will I feel if I sabotage my success by doing what I’ve always done and expecting different results?  DOUBLE NOT GOOD. Look and feel my best. Every day. No more excuses.  Get up. Do my hair. Put on my face.  Get a manicure.  So when I have another “fat day” I have a utility belt of confidence boosters on hand. Holding out for rewards, though it seems to keep one focused on a “goal”, is actually a mind game that kept reminding me of my failures and kept me away from other things that might have been just the pick-me-up I needed to get out of a rut.  I may find myself all dressed up with nowhere to go at times, but I’ll be able to put my best foot forward at a moment’s notice.  Bring it on, 2010.

“No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, show up!”  - Anonymous

A New Year’s Toast!

In the Pacific Northwest, where inhabitants are stereotypically known to be “pale and plump” (relative to the Barbie’s and Ken’s down south), I am a minority by having the desire to be tan, hairless, and lean.  Not just tan, but glowing bronze.  Not just waxed, but “electrolysized”.  Not just lean, but the muscular, all-you-can-pinch-is-the-skin-stretched-over-flesh, kind of lean.  A bronze statue of the female physique in its most ideal form.  A true walking piece of art.  A figure bodybuilder.  Why, you ask? Of course there’s the sense of accomplishment and pride that goes along with the “look at me now” attitude upon achieving this goal – especially after years of ridicule regarding my weight – but also to be healthy.  To avoid getting onset diabetes with pregnancy.  To be able to keep up with my kids and all that other “Kodak Moment” stuff.

Attempting to become this aforementioned work of art is a difficult task at best.  Attempting to become this thing – outside the radius of vain epicenters like Venice Beach and/or without strong ties to a bodybuilding social circle – is downright abnormal; even considered to be “setting oneself up for failure”.  Constantly questioned and often misunderstood, bodybuilding is a sport whose athletes will always have to defend it to the masses.  “What’s the point?”, “Why would you want to look like that?” and “Isn’t that unhealthy?”. Well, this year I’m turning 25, and amid having my quarter-life crisis,  I vowed to myself years ago that I was going to have a healthier, rockin’ bod – read: normal BMI* and swimsuit worthy – upon turning 25, so dammit, it’s going to happen.  I will prove to the world that anyone has the potential and the raw ability to conquer this lifestyle and thrive with the right guidance.

After blowing out 25 candles and living through swimsuit season, (hopefully) reaching my first major goal, I will continue to focus my attention on the long term one: becoming a figure bodybuilder entering the competition circuit of 2011.  With the possibility of a  pre-season debut in a novice show in the fall of 2010, I am technically attempting to “go figure” in a little under a year.

I welcome you to join me on this journey that will take you through different dieting strategies, weeklong “cleanses” and intense workout regimens.  Of course, we can’t forget the electrolysis, the tanning beds, and the optional (but common and strongly implied) breast augmentation and recovery period.  Don’t worry.  I’m not going under the knife solely to get a better score in a figure competition.  Anything I pursue in this next year will have been decided upon based on many factors – personal desires, mental and emotional health – and I will be taking into account both the pros and cons of each procedure, diet or regimen I choose to take on.  (In other words, I have wanted breast augmentation long before becoming interested in bodybuilding.)  I’m not saying everything I do this next year is “right” or the “best” way to do things, but I will be sharing invaluable information and letting you into the world of being a figure competitor from a unique perspective you couldn’t get anywhere else if you tried; that of a 24 year old, 5’8” female, who’s beginning her training at 215 pounds and 36.5% bodyfat.  Just FYI, those numbers describe a woman considered to be obese. So I propose a toast (of a non-fat, no sugar added, non-alcoholic, caffeine free beverage); To going figure within 365 days.

*BMI = ((Weight) Lbs. / ((Height) In. * (Height) In.)) * 703

Normal = 18.5 – 24.9

Overweight = 25 – 29.9

Obese = 30+

(215/68*68)*703 = You do the math…